I’m writing this after learning a ton of shit in the decade since I was 25. Things that would have made my path to freedom faster, easier, and less fucking painful if I’d known them earlier.
The gap between where you think you should be and where you actually are is crushing you right now. You scour through social feeds looking at these digital nomads living the dream – working from beaches in Thailand or cafes in Singapore – while you’re still struggling with your job deadlines and wondering if you’ll ever break free from the daily grind.
Let me be blunt: 95% of purchasing decisions are driven by subconscious factors. Most of the choices you’re making now – from relationship priorities to business strategies – are influenced by unconscious patterns you don’t even recognize yet. This is why so many aspiring entrepreneurs stay stuck despite having all the technical skills they need.
What I’m about to share isn’t the inspirational bullshit you’ll find in mainstream entrepreneurship podcasts. These are the brutal, sometimes uncomfortable lessons that have actually moved the needle in my life – and they will in yours too, if you have the courage to implement them.
Consider this my letter through time, from someone who did not follow conventional wisdom, but learnt these lessons the hard way.
The 19 Brutal Truths I Had To Learn The Hard Way
1. Business and entrepreneurship are your path to freedom
This isn’t just motivational crap – it’s backed by hard facts. Self-employed business owners are four times more likely to become millionaires than employees. Despite making up less than 20% of households, they represent two-thirds of high-net-worth households in America.
While your tech job pays the bills, you need to think of it as a stepping stone, not the destination. Start exploring different business models now. Find one that resonates with you and commit to it like your freedom depends on it – because it does.
The path won’t be easy – only about 1/3 of new businesses survive their first decade. But staying an employee for life is a guaranteed path to mediocrity. As Richard Branson says,
“Entrepreneurship is about turning what excites you in life into capital, so that you can do more of it and move forward with it.”
2. Build your personal brand immediately, and make it global
Your LinkedIn profile isn’t a fucking brand. Neither is that halfhearted Twitter (I know, X) account you check once a month.
I wish I’d understood that your personal brand outlasts any business you’ll ever build. Companies will come and go, but your reputation and network stay with you forever. Jeff Bezos nailed it:
“Your brand is what other people say about you when you’re not in the room.”
Look at Elon Musk. Tesla spends virtually zero on advertising because Musk’s personal brand does the marketing for him. His tweets drive more sales than million-dollar ad campaigns.
Start writing in English right now. Seriously, today. Forget the narrow audience of your home country. Go global from day one – it exponentially increases your opportunities. Your accent doesn’t matter. Your grammar mistakes don’t matter (and you have an AI to fix it for you). What matters is getting your voice out there consistently.
3. If you think it’s too early (or too late) – start anyway
That voice telling you “I’m not ready yet” or “the market is saturated” is bullshit. The perfect time to start is now.
Thinking cryptocurrencies have already peaked? Wrong. The global markets are just warming up.
Think it’s too late to become a content creator because “all the slots are taken”? Ridiculous. The creator economy is still in its infancy.
Zig Ziglar said it perfectly:
“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”
Our brains are wired to think everything moves faster than it actually does. In reality, most “overnight successes” took years of invisible work. Start now, not when you feel ready.
4. Relationships with the opposite sex aren’t your priority
This will be controversial, but hear me out.
Romantic relationships can seriously derail your path to success if they come at the wrong time or with the wrong person. Studies show divorce rates among entrepreneurs hover around 43-48% – higher than the general population. In one survey, 57% of divorced entrepreneurs reported their company suffered financially from the divorce.
I’m not saying become a monk. I’m saying prioritization matters. Study the psychology of how relationships impact success trajectories. A demanding partner who doesn’t support your vision can drain the energy you need for building your future.
The right relationship can be an asset, but at this stage of life, a partnership should be evaluated partly on how it affects your freedom and growth goals. Be strategic, not just emotional.
5. Health and physiology come first – non-negotiable
“In a healthy body, healthy spirit” isn’t just a saying – it’s a fundamental success principle backed by science.
Harvard researchers have confirmed that regular exercise improves cognitive function, memory, and mental sharpness. When you’re building a business, your brain is your most important asset.
Richard Branson claims his daily exercise routine “doubles” his productivity. He’s not exaggerating – studies show exercise can boost creative thinking by 60% on average.
Even when money is tight, prioritize clean eating. Learn basic nutrition. Your body is the vehicle that will carry you to success or failure. A sick person has only one goal – getting healthy. A healthy person can pursue multiple ambitious goals simultaneously.
Don’t wait until burnout forces you to care about health. Make it your foundation now.
6. Study psychology like your success depends on it (because it does)
Psychology underlies literally everything that matters in business: marketing, sales, leadership, team dynamics, customer behavior, and your own decision-making.
Harvard marketing professor Gerald Zaltman found that 95% of purchasing decisions happen in the subconscious mind. Think about that – your customers aren’t primarily making logical choices. They’re responding to emotional triggers you need to understand.
Simon Sinek put it bluntly:
“If you don’t understand people, you don’t understand business.”
Read Robert Cialdini on persuasion. Study emotional intelligence. Learn how cognitive biases affect decisions. This knowledge isn’t just theoretical – it translates directly into better marketing, stronger sales, and more effective leadership.
The sooner you master human psychology, the faster you’ll see patterns in business that others miss completely.
7. Embrace change and new experiences constantly
Change creates opportunity. Full stop.
Psychologist Richard Wiseman studied “lucky” people and found their luck wasn’t random – they maximized chance opportunities by consistently putting themselves in new situations and meeting new people.
Stay in one place, doing one thing, with the same people, and your opportunities remain static. Move around, try new things, meet diverse people, and your “luck surface area” expands dramatically.
Don’t fear relocating. Don’t fear changing your business model. Don’t fear exploring new markets. That discomfort you feel when faced with change is your comfort zone being stretched – exactly what needs to happen for growth.
As Branson demonstrated when his flight to the Virgin Islands was canceled, he didn’t accept fate – he chartered a plane, sold seats to stranded passengers, and discovered an opportunity that became Virgin Atlantic Airways.
Your next big break probably lies just outside your comfort zone.
8. Fix your mental health – therapy isn’t optional
This might be the most important point on this list. Your unresolved psychological issues will sabotage your success in ways you can’t even see yet.
Carl Jung wasn’t fucking around when he said,
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Those destructive patterns you keep repeating in business and relationships? They’re not bad luck. They’re your subconscious running the same broken program over and over.
You think you’re making rational decisions, but studies show up to 95% of our cognitive activity (including many decisions) happens unconsciously. Until you understand how your past shapes your present choices, you’ll keep sabotaging yourself.
Get therapy. Read psychology books. Journal. Meditate. Do the inner work of understanding your triggers and trauma responses. It’s not soft shit – it’s perhaps the highest-leverage activity for your future success.
Look at Arianna Huffington – only after addressing her burnout and mental health did she build the Huffington Post into a media empire. Don’t wait for a breakdown to prioritize your mental well-being.
9. Think carefully before taking on business partners
You probably won’t want to hear this, but you can do this alone. You have enough skills, determination, and capacity to succeed without partners.
That said, data doesn’t fully support going solo. According to startup research, teams with complementary skills often outperform solo founders. Y Combinator openly prefers founding teams over solo entrepreneurs, as they’ve observed solo founders struggle to cover all business functions.
Here’s the nuance: partner only if it truly amplifies your capabilities. Don’t partner because you’re afraid or want to share responsibility. If you haven’t done the psychological work I mentioned in point #8, partnerships often become a crutch that slows you down.
The bottom line: you don’t need partners, but the right partner can be valuable. Choose extraordinarily carefully, and only if they bring capabilities you genuinely can’t develop yourself.
10. Read more, and not just business books
Your education doesn’t stop when you leave university. In fact, it barely begins.
Tom Corley’s research found that 85% of self-made millionaires read two or more books monthly, while the average CEO reads 50-60 books annually. Warren Buffett spends 80% of his day reading and credits much of his success to this habit.
Don’t just stick to non-fiction and business books. Classic literature contains wisdom that’s survived centuries for good reason. A 2013 study in Science showed that reading fiction significantly improves empathy and social perception – crucial skills for any entrepreneur.
Reading fiction gives you access to thousands of years of human experience and insight, compressed into stories you can absorb in days. It’s the closest thing to living multiple lives.
11. Don’t take on debt for investments – especially if you’re inexperienced
This advice is painfully simple but ignored by many: don’t borrow money to invest if you don’t know what you’re doing.
The Federal Reserve has documented countless cases where individuals who aggressively borrowed to invest in volatile assets ended up financially ruined after market downturns. The 2008 financial crisis is full of these stories.
If you want to invest but don’t have capital, focus on building your income first. Taking high-interest loans to chase investments is a recipe for disaster unless you’re exceptionally knowledgeable.
As Mark Cuban bluntly puts it:
“If you use a credit card, you don’t want to be rich.”
The math rarely works in your favor – market returns average around 7% annually, while most loans charge significantly more.
12. Distribution matters more than your product
This is counterintuitive, especially for tech-minded people, but critical: having an amazing product means nothing without distribution.
Remember Betamax vs. VHS? Betamax was technically superior, but VHS won because it had better distribution and licensing. More recently, think about Slack vs. Microsoft Teams. Slack pioneered a great product, but Microsoft bundled Teams with Office 365, instantly distributing it to hundreds of millions. Teams quickly eclipsed Slack despite being an inferior product initially.
CB Insights analyzed 101 startup failures and found that the #1 reason for failure (42% of cases) wasn’t product problems but “no market need” – which often translates to poor market reach or understanding.
Start by figuring out how you’ll distribute and sell your product, not by perfecting features. The “if you build it, they will come” mentality is entrepreneurial suicide.
13. Constantly meet new people and expand your network
This isn’t just feel-good advice – it’s backed by hard numbers.
LinkedIn and HubSpot surveys reveal that 85% of jobs are filled through networking contacts rather than open applications. Up to 70% of jobs are never even advertised publicly – they’re filled via connections.
Oxford Economics found that executives believe they would lose nearly 28% of their business if they stopped networking with clients. For entrepreneurs, network effects are even more profound.
Look at Airbnb’s founders – when conventional investor pitches failed, they leveraged networking at the 2008 Democratic National Convention, building relationships that led to media coverage and eventual success.
Meet people outside your current circle. Join communities you’re curious about. Attend events in person whenever possible. Each new connection exponentially increases your reach and opportunities.
Be strategic, though. Use your psychology knowledge to vet people for trustworthiness and alignment with your values.
14. Cut out alcohol, smoking, and drugs completely
This might seem extreme in a culture that normalizes drinking, but the data is clear: substances impair your potential.
Even moderate drinking disrupts sleep quality and next-day cognitive function. A World Health Organization report stated in 2022 that no level of alcohol consumption is completely safe, and chronic use links to depression and increased anxiety – emotional states that kill productivity.
Smokers miss more work due to health issues, and even occasional use reduces physical stamina. A JAMA study found smokers had significantly worse productivity than non-smokers.
You might worry about being the outsider at social events, but that’s a feature, not a bug. Being the clear-headed person in a room of intoxicated people gives you a massive advantage in both conversation and perception.
Many Silicon Valley professionals now practice “sober networking” because they find they connect better without alcohol’s effects. Sobriety isn’t a sacrifice – it’s a competitive advantage.
15. You are enough – cultivate self-sufficiency
You don’t need external validation or permission to succeed. The research on self-efficacy (belief in your own abilities) shows it’s a powerful predictor of actual achievement.
Psychologist Albert Bandura’s work demonstrates that believing “I am capable of handling this” often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy in performance. It’s what Henry Ford meant by
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Develop an internal locus of control – the belief that you determine your outcomes through your actions, not external forces. Research consistently links this mindset to greater achievement in work and education.
This isn’t about isolation – it’s about building inner sufficiency so you’re not psychologically dependent on others’ approval or help to move forward.
16. Learn to listen to your intuition
Your intuition isn’t mystical nonsense – it’s your unconscious pattern recognition system detecting things your conscious mind hasn’t processed yet.
In domains where you have experience, research shows intuition can be remarkably accurate. Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman distinguishes between “System 1” (fast, intuitive thinking) and “System 2” (slow, analytical thinking). While System 2 is crucial for novel problems, System 1 (intuition) is reliable in areas where you have expertise.
Study by Gary Klein on veteran firefighters found they made life-saving split-second decisions based on gut feelings they couldn’t articulate – their intuition was synthesizing environmental cues faster than conscious thought could.
Steve Jobs advised:
“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.”
Quiet your mind through meditation or journaling to better hear your inner voice. It’s often trying to guide you toward the right path.
17. Nothing in life is inherently good or bad – it’s about perspective
This isn’t just philosophical – it’s practical psychology. How you interpret events largely determines their impact on you.
Shakespeare wasn’t just being poetic when he wrote,
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Modern research on cognitive appraisal confirms this wisdom.
Studies on resilience consistently show that people who reframe negative events in a more neutral or positive light bounce back faster and often achieve greater subsequent success.
The classic study by Lazarus & Folkman demonstrated that appraising a situation as a “challenge” rather than a “threat” leads to better performance under pressure.
When you face setbacks, zoom out to a cosmic perspective. Remember how small our problems are in the grand scheme. This isn’t spiritual bypassing – it’s a proven technique for maintaining emotional equilibrium during ups and downs in your life.
18. Don’t live somewhere with a combined bathroom and toilet
Especially if you’re living with someone else.
Seriously, who the fuck thought putting a toilet in the same room as the shower was a good idea?
19. You are the most important person in your life
As counterintuitive as it seems, focusing on yourself first isn’t selfish – it’s strategic.
When you prioritize your development, you become magnetic to better opportunities and better people. It’s like the airplane oxygen mask principle – secure yours before helping others.
Investing in yourself yields the highest returns. Your skills, health, network, and mindset are assets that can never be taken from you, unlike businesses that might fail or relationships that might end.
Every improvement you make to yourself compounds over time. Small daily investments in your knowledge, health, and mindset create exponential returns as years pass.
From Advice to Action: The Choice Is Yours
I know some of this advice sounds harsh. It challenges the comfortable narratives we tell ourselves about success and happiness.
But imagine implementing even half of these principles over the next few years. The momentum you’d build would be unstoppable. The freedom you’re seeking – which feels so distant now – would become your daily reality rather than an Instagram fantasy.
These truths work whether you’re in Bangkok, Prague, or Palo Alto. They apply whether you’re building a SaaS product, working as a developer, or creating content.
Start with just one lesson today, don’t wait till the freaking New Year. Perhaps begin building that global personal brand, or schedule a therapy session, or commit to daily exercise.
Freedom and happiness aren’t built in grand gestures. It’s constructed one decision at a time, often when no one is watching. The quality of those decisions determines everything.
The future version of yourself is watching what you do next.